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An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word―including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives.
"Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked.
In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey―both young artists trying to figure it all out―met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there―that is, if it even got picked up.
Then, one million people watched the premiere. The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever. Suddenly, they were the faces of lesbian culture in a society still hostile to queerness. And one of them wasn't even out yet.
Luckily, they had each other. From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha were so inseparable that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants―you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their branded partnership and podcast, PANTS, launched in 2020 and downloaded over twenty million times.
This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experiences as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family.
Authors: Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey
Hardcover Published 3 June 2025 272 pages
"[Moennig and Hailey] mix humor, pain, love, and loss throughout this vulnerable and thoughtful memoir.... Moennig and Hailey’s openness about their personal and professional lives makes this book more than just a look into a TV series." ―Library Journal, starred review
"This book solidifies Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey's significant influence on television and queer culture. Not only are they trailblazers who opened doors for lesbians globally, their portrayals made being a lesbian sexy and aspirational. The creation of this book in itself is a groundbreaking achievement and nothing short of a masterpiece." ―Julia Fox, New York Times bestselling author of Down the Drain
"Perfectly captures the joy we all experienced making a television show that became more than a television show and exemplifies why Kate and Leisha are at once beloved and iconic. Their voices are distinct―at different moments funny, honest, heartbreaking, reassuring, and, most of all, essential. The world needed this book. I needed this book." ―Ilene Chaiken, co-creator, writer, and producer of The L Word
"Kate and Leisha have written a beautiful memoir that is in turns humorous and poignant and sometimes both simultaneously. What a genuine pleasure it was to step onto memory lane and to see the view from their eyes. Just when I thought I knew everything about their legendary friendship, along comes this perceptive memoir that made me laugh out loud and cry in the same sitting, unveiling things I never knew, making their friendship that much more magical." ―Jennifer Beals